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13 out of 16 people found the following comment useful :-
A poignant documentary about being true to yourself, 16 February 2003
Author: Howard Schumann from Vancouver, B.C.

It is no secret that many Gays and Lesbians have turned their backs on religion because of its strictures against homosexuality, yet there are still those that want to be both Gay and religious. This is the subject of the poignant documentary, Trembling Before G_d directed by a Gay Conservative Jew, Sandi Simcha Dubowski. The film examines the beliefs of Orthodox Gay and Lesbian Jews who are struggling to bridge the gap between their way of life and the teachings of their religion. The film, which played for five months in New York and was named Best Documentary at the Berlin Film Festival, has sparked debate between liberals and conservatives, Gay rights activists, the media and spokespersons for organized religion.

Orthodox Jews hold that acts of homosexuality are punishable by death. The passage most quoted is from Leviticus 10:13: "A man who lies with a man as one lies with a woman, they have both done an abomination: they shall be p ut to death, their blood is on them". I do not know who wrote those words or what the circumstances were, but I do know that a just God who grants his love unconditionally certainly did not. Yet Orthodox Jewish Rabbis in their devotion to Jewish doctrine consider this the "truth", ignoring the humanity of the people they have been taught to serve. Even more moderate Jews believe that homosexuality is evil or, at the very least, a sickness. This is not far different than the beliefs of many Catholics, Mormons, or Muslims as well, but the film only concentrates on Jews, and only on those who are "orthodox" in their beliefs. [In the Jewish tradition, Orthodox means belief in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) as the written word of God, strict adherence to dietary laws, and following cultural restrictions such as not driving on the Sabbath].

Dubowski interviewed Gays and Lesbians in New York, London, Los Angeles, and Jerusalem, many coping with rejection from their families, issues of suicide and AIDS, and self-acceptance. It is unsettling to hear learned Rabbi's telling them that they must remain celibate, submit to therapy, or pray until their urges disappear. Some of the Rabbis do not even understand what is meant by oral sex and mutual masturbation. The urge to say, "please wake up" is overwhelming. One of the interviewees is David from Los Angeles, a bright and articulate man in his late 30s who, following the advice of a rabbi, tried for many years to change his orientation through therapy. He talks without bitterness about the advice given to him by various rabbis to eat figs, snap a rubber band on his wrist or bite his tongue whenever he feels the temptation to have sex with another man. Now twenty years later, David confronts the Rabbi who ordered him into therapy and tells him that his advice did not work.

There is also Michelle, a Hasidic Lesbian from Brooklyn who married under pressure from the family that now virtually disowns her. Many of the people interviewed are afraid to reveal their names and faces on camera because of fear of family and community rejection. Some openly state how afraid they are that their life style will prevent them from ever going to "heaven". One of the angriest is Israel, a 58-year-old man from New York who rejected his family after they forced him to undergo electro-shock therapy. Others interviewed include Rabbi Steven Greenberg, the first openly Gay Orthodox rabbi and author of the book "Of Wrestling with God and Men". Greenberg talks with hope about God being lovingly open to questioning and to learning from man. He says there is an alternate way of interpreting the passage from Leviticus but we are not told what this is.

Trembling Before G_d is about being Gay but is also about the need to belong -- to parents, to community, to a set of rules. It is heartbreaking when Israel says, "I'm 58 years old and I want my Daddy" and extremely moving when he finally telephones his 98-year old father after twenty years of estrangement. In an odd way, the documentary celebrates Judaism even while pointing out its flaws and it got me back in touch with the Jewish experience -- the songs, the feeling of community, and the struggle to understand God and His purposes. The real sadness was thinking about centuries of intolerance practiced by those who themselves have been victims. Trembling Before G_d illuminates the problem but does not show us a way out, yet if given enough exposure it just might become a wake up call to those still tied to an archaic belief system that long ago ceased to have any relevance or purpose.

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8 out of 10 people found the following comment useful :-
a poignant, thought-provoking documentary, illustrating the lives of ultra-orthodox & hasidic Jewish gays and lesbians, 1 October 2001

Author: Michelle from NY

Few people realize the magnitude of the controversy surrounding this issue, mostly because they have not experienced this struggle in their own lives. This film delves into the lives of several members of the orthodox Jewish community worldwide who struggle with their see-saw lives, trying to find a happy balance between religious & sexual identity. There is a new hope of opening the orthodox Jewish community to the possibility of accepting this growing population. Anyone who has had difficulty with acceptance for any reason, be it religion, race, creed, sexual identity, will be able to identify with those who tell their story. Please support this cause and see this film. The word must be spread and these stories must be heard before the world as we know it can change. Although this film is of a very serious nature, there are lighter moments that lift the spirit and present an air of hope for a better future.

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7 out of 10 people found the following comment useful :-
Beating their heads against the Western Wall.., 2 June 2002
Author: dfarhie-1 from Austin, Texas

There will always be oppression, there will always be bigotry, and there will always be guilt and shame, because organized religion has given us all of these and more. And now here comes a group of gay Orthodox Jews asking their elders and family to deny millennia of religious writings and dogma and accept them unconditionally? I am gay and a Jew and accept the fact that not every person I meet will be happy with either of those affirmations. To find people that will accept both at the same time is rarer still. At least I had the good fortune NOT to be born into an orthodox household. I would have written them off years ago..

This documentary is a caring and touching look at several people caught in a moral and sexual dilemma. Whom do they deny, themselves, or G-d? If they proclaim their homosexuality to their world, they are dismissed or ignored, shunned or exiled. If they repress their feelings and accept the dogmatic teachings of their draconian faith, then they are driven to suffer in silence, or worse, suicide.

This is little more than a modern day inquisition with the parents, the rebbe's and the congregations turning the thumbscrews on these pathetic souls. My heart goes out to all of them, but in my opinion, it is a loosing battle. I would rather see them live as complete a life as they can, knowing they are doing the best that they can, and striving for a shift in attitude in general, not a change in religious doctrine, which will never come.

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8 out of 12 people found the following comment useful :-
Needed to be made, 5 February 2003

Author: leask81 from adelaide, australia

I was lucky enough to attend a showing at which the director was present to answer audience questions after the film - not being Jewish, or homosexual, myself, such discussion was very helpful to understanding the film and where the director was coming from.

The film itself needed to be made, there's no doubt about that. Not having extensive knowledge of any one religion (other than the universal facts and myths about Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam and Hinduism), I found it difficult to see why the orthodox community is finding it so difficult to accept gays. Fortunately, a (very lively, interesting and funny) woman sitting behind me provided me with a useful analogy: Imagine that, suddenly, everyone in the world had to be American. I would still call myself Australian, but that wouldn't be allowed - I would *have* to be American, and the situation is irreconcilable. Obviously that analogy has flaws, but as a simple one on the spur of the moment, I thought it was pretty good.

What was even more interesting was learning what *didn't* go into the final version of the film: for example, Dubowski attempted for years to entice the orthodox parents of outed gays to appear on camera, but could find no takers. He gave the audience (which would have been about 30% non-Jewish) a brief rundown of the separate movements within the Jewish community, namely Orthodox, Conservative and Reform, and explained why he focussed the film on the former. He told of an ageing Jewish man who, after viewing the film, stood up, turned around and stated to the audience:

"I'm a survivor of the Holocaust... but I'm not here tonight to talk about that. When I was a young boy, growing up in Berlin in the 1920s, I remember seeing people at gatherings, standing alone and away from the rest of the community. I asked my father who these people were. My father told me, 'well, those people are the evil ones.' Now, after seeing this film, I finally know who those people were, and that they weren't 'evil'. I think the Jewish community needs to accept gays and lesbians, because they are people just like the rest of us."

I gave the film 7.5/10, up to 8 because of the director's presence.

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5 out of 7 people found the following comment useful :-
Amazing, 4 October 2002

Author: (aous@visto.com) from Boulder, Colorado, USA

This documentary transcends any and every divisions there are in this world and shows the admirable strength a proud few who felt the need to communicate their struggle with the rest of the world. I was always taught that one should could not be religious AND homosexual, that we had to choose between being one or the other. This film proves that theory wrong. Its ultimate message is showing the power of love via humanizing and de-stigmatizing a sensitive, but very real, issue. God bless all who participated.

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6 out of 9 people found the following comment useful :-
This movie made me cry... and smile, too, 9 March 2005

Author: elperez3 from Tampa, Florida

I had heard a lot about this movie before I saw it. I rented it and watched it twice. I never watch movies twice! I think that this movie should be watched by all. Being gay and religious is obviously not just a Jewish problem. There are people all over the world right now from many religions, ethnic groups, and ages that are struggling with potential rejection and/or isolation if they come out. They feel defective and guilty for being who they are. In come cases, the family gets rejected and labeled as the "family with the gay son and /or daughter." It is really sad and unnecessary. This type of reaction to homosexuality is potentially chasing away good people who can make a difference in our society. Additionally, many teenagers and young adults find themselves with no hope. The only way out for them is suicide. This is horrible.

Watch the movie and "Disc 2." It has good stuff on it! :)

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6 out of 9 people found the following comment useful :-
Children of a lesser G-d, 13 June 2004

Author: jotix100 from New York

This is a very disturbing documentary. One can only congratulate director Sandi Dubowski for the courage in dealing with the subject matter. Of course, the study here was done among Orthodox Jews who are at the margin of their religion. This film is universal because it could apply to conservative beliefs as well.

How can the people in charge of a congregation reject anyone because they are different from what ancient texts tell? Aren't these gay men and women the product of legal marriages from religion abiding parents? These children didn't ask to be born gay, but the fact remains they are that way and no one, being the rabbis in charge, or the parents can reverse the fact. Love, nurturing, acceptance are lacking from all those in high places.

After viewing the film, I felt great sadness for the people that have to lead a life away from family and community for just being gay. Shame on the parents and the leaders for banning their children into oblivion. I salute their stand for being themselves.

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2 out of 3 people found the following comment useful :-
You don't have to be Jewish, but it helps, 27 June 2007

Author: (normangelman@verizon.net) from Washington, D.C.

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

POSSIBLE SPOILERS

"Trembling Before G-d" -- the very title needs to be explained if you are to understand the film -- is an exceedingly painful story about the difficulties faced by gays and lesbians from Jewish Orthodox communities. Although the Hebrew and (occasional) Yiddish expressions that crop up are adequately translated in subtitles, this is a story of what must be called "Gay Shame" as opposed to "Gay Pride." The sacred texts of the Jews condemn homosexuality, calling for the death by stoning of males who practice it. Lesbian sex is likewise forbidden. While gay Jews are no longer stoned, gays and lesbians who confess their sexual orientation are almost uniformly ousted from the communities in which they grew up and abandoned by their families as if dead.

"G-d" is the Orthodox way of avoiding reference to God's name in writing. Pronouncing the name of God is explicitly forbidden in the Torah, and when saying prayers a variety of devices/euphemisms are employed to address the Almighty without saying his (or her) name. The most familiar of these to non-Jews is often translated into English as "Yah" or "Yahweh" or "Jehova." It generally appears in Hebrew prayer books as a tetragammaton -- four consonants, often articulated as "adonai." In Moses' time, the high priest could pronounce the name of God once a year in sacred space, hidden from the congregation. Modern Jews have no idea what God's "real" name is. Indeed, in conversation outside the synagogue, Orthodox Jews frequently refer to God as "ha-Shem," which means "the name."

"Trembling Before G-d" allows a number of gay and lesbian Jews to tell their own stories. So difficult is the topic for most of them that few allow their faces to be seen, appearing mostly in shadows or behind curtains or in black profile. One of the most poignant of the tales told is that of a woman who has borne 13 children to a husband who acknowledges that he is incapable of truly loving her because he would prefer sex with men (he seems not to have acted on it). And then there's the married woman who has revealed her lesbian desires to her husband and now lives a celibate life with him and their children. And, although only one is interviewed, there are those who marry, already knowing that their sexual orientation is not heterosexual.

But the primary focus of the film is on gays and lesbians who have acknowledged their sexual orientations to themselves and, in most cases, revealed themselves to their parents and their communities. As a result, they've been excommunicated and, although they continue to feel Orthodox, they are prevented from practicing their Orthodoxy within a community. Many have tried unsuccessfully with the help of their rabbis and psychotherapists to shed their sexual desires -- and the rabbis and therapists are themselves interviewed in the film. In one case, a man in his forties returns to visit a sympathetic rabbi who had counseled him twenty years earlier and the gay man tells the rabbi that he was unable to overcome his desires but does not practice anal sex. The rabbi is astounded; he knew of no other way for homosexuals to have sex. When the gay man explains and likens his desire for his partner to the intense sexual desire that a married man feels for his wife, it comes to the rabbi as a revelation.

Having written all this by way of explanation, a few words of criticism: the film is too long and far too repetitive. Several of the people who have allowed themselves to be interviewed tell their stories, with small variations, more than once. And there is too little time spent with the few Orthodox rabbis who seem to understand the issue, exploring why the pain that follows exclusion is essentially unacknowledged and unaddressed in the world of Orthodoxy.

Jew or not, however,this is a film that should be seen. Unfortunately, I'm absolutely certain it will NOT be seen by those who need to see it the most. G-d forbid!

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3 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :-
Empathy when there is none, 23 April 2005

Author: quitifa from United States

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

I am not Jewish, but I am gay. Many of my gay friends struggle to find religion in their lives and this film touched a note with me.

Aside from that, I believe the direction was compelling but did not force nor interfere with the events in these peoples lives. It was a portrayal as well as an enlightenment. I knew not the religion of the Jewish people and yet I felt the outcasts feelings and empathized with the homosexuals.

The director captured a range of emotions. The moment where my heart stopped was when a young gay man cried at the wailing wall. I cried, too. Hats off to the director.

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It Broke My Heart, 14 February 2007

Author: jtolleson from United States

It isn't an unfamiliar mantra, but that doesn't mean it loses its power.

Look, glbt people of faith have been told for a long time that they should either "straighten up" (pun intended) or leave their faith traditions. I've experienced that myself by identifying jointly as lesbian and Christian. But is it really the place of any community of humans to dictate the status of my relationship to G-d? Well, I suppose that in the Jewish tradition it is even more complex, where faith, culture, ethnic identity, and family are more tightly intertwined than anything. And it pained me... the thought that anyone would be forced out of their faith community or even their sense of relationship to G-d by human reaction to sexual orientation.

I have great respect for the history and theology that underlies orthodox Jewish observance. But I want there to be a space for all people who share that bond with G-d and who want to observe, just as I want that for myself in Christianity. Is that REALLY too much to ask? And is the consequence worth it? That is the question of Trembling Before G-d... a wonderful film.

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