Reviews written by registered user
LaLaLandSucks

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36 reviews in total 
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21 out of 109 people found the following review useful:
As garbage as the first one, 5 October 2017
1/10

Ugly cinematography, bad directing, all the actors look like they suffered from mania. Action is garbage, no where near the level of the masterpiece Kingsman: The Golden Circle. There is no cowboys or rednecks, it gets an instant 0. Harrison Ford cannot act or do action. He is too old, every time he tries to punch is a punch line. Ryan Gosling is boring and can't act. He should go back to Gay Gay Land. Ana de Armas is ugly and has no talent and she should just quit Hollyweird. This is the worst movie ever made.

-100/10

12 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Unnecessary Politics, 26 September 2017
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The first Kingsman was subtle with Obama's head exploding. This here is just pandering and irritating. 2016 and 2017 are the years Trump gets bashed a bunch by angry voters and celebrities. At this point, it's real old and it's not funny anymore. It is so ham fisted in your face in this film that you just want to die. Basically, Trump is an evil man who wants to kill all the druggies so that no more drugs will be distributed. Then, they have Hillary Clinton who is the vice president. By the end you know it all, Trump's impeached. Hillary becomes the president of the United States.

Stalker (1979)
One of the worst movies and directors of all time, 22 September 2017
1/10

Awful in every way. The cinematography is bad, the shot composition is bad, the editing is bad, the music is garbage, the writing is cynical, the entire film is a piece of crap. Andrei Tarkovsky has a extended filmography of crap after crap after crap. It has really terrible long takes that are easily made with no complexity to the lens whatsoever. All the performances are crap. The message is, LIFE IS BORING, WE NEED TO BREAK INTO A MUTATED FACILITY BECAUSE IT CAN MAKE US RICH. Yeah, greedy unlikable criminal scum characters and we're suppose to support them? Nope. What's even wrong with this film is that throughout the film, it is hamfisted in your face with monologues and dialogue of the writer telling the audience about his cynical life because he's just another crappy Communist who can't make or write films. Cannot believe people praise craptist like him. It's these pretentious people that make Hitchcock, Kubrick, and all these other crappy filmmakers high regard. Screw em.

0/10.

5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Ripping off a boring dull craptist like Andrei Barfofsky, 21 September 2017
1/10

This director tried so hard to rip off that sack of Russian craptist, Andrei Barfosky. There was another craptist called Alejandro Inarittu who tried to copy Barfosky with The Revenant and that was a slow, boring, technically pandering piece of crap too. This here is no different. Long takes, static shots, really bad cinematography, and just ugly like every Barfosky movie. What do we get in a world full of overpraised craptist like Emmanuel Lubezki, Andrei Barfosky, Ingrid Bergman, Alejandro Inarritu, or the king of sack of them all, Hitchcock? We get pretentious cinema, nothing more. All their movies suck and this one sucks just the same.

0/10 like every one of their films.

Mother! (2017)
42 out of 122 people found the following review useful:
Plagiaristofsky Strikes Again, 11 September 2017
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

After plagiarizing Perfect Blue with Requiem for a Dream and the entirety of Black Swan, here comes another movie he plagiarizes once more. This time it is Roman Polanski's horror masterpiece Rosemary's Baby. It is a shot for shot remake. If you've seen Rosemary's Baby, you basically know what happens. The only thing is that it is filled with horrible performances from the likes of modern thespians such as Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Just terrible actors who can only act modern and you could easily spot who they are each time they are on screen. It's also poorly directed with bad CGI, bad camera work as usual, bad editing, and just crappy color grading. If you hate Aronofsky's look and style, you'll definitely hate this one even more. Darren Aronofsky proves himself to be an incompetent director who only knows how to steal from others once again. Do yourselves a favor and boycott this movie.

-100/10.

It (2017/I)
24 out of 46 people found the following review useful:
A Potty Mouth Adaptation that misses the point, 8 September 2017
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie is filled with ridiculous amounts of profanity after another by little kids telling jokes every few minutes because people think kids yelling the F word, C word, S word is funny. Not, this movie is horrible and completely misses the point of what It is supposed to be. It is supposed be terrifying, dangerous, grueling, grim, and depressing. Not this joke fest they've made. Completely overdone and only has 10% of gore of what the book has to offer. This film was supposed to offer NC-17 level violence and even controversial scenes such as a child having sex with another child. There's none of that in here. There's only an arm rip scene, which was done in the most non-disgusting way. Probably because Hollywood has a cynical view of cinema and they can't go all out because they're too wussy to take their ambitions to greater heights. The production is mediocre. Lots of fake looking sets, cheap digital effects that may put the audience off. The child performances are horrible as always. Just straight up cringe. Bill Skarsgaard is okay, but at times he is way too obvious. Once again, a horror film reduced to dumb characters making very dumb decisions. The cinematography was standard, shot composition was below average, lighting wasn't too good, color grading is the blue and orange teal and every Hollywood movie. Do yourself a favor and save yourself from It. It will just irritate your mind the more you watch It.

2/10.

Death Note (2017)
236 out of 335 people found the following review useful:
A movie that gets 98% everything wrong, 25 August 2017
2/10

This movie was a mess. From a directional standpoint, to acting, to script writing, everything. The VFX is horrible in this movie. It's so low budget, you'd imagine it be a cheap TV show. Ryuk's forehead is too big and feels nonexistent within the mise-en-scene. Light Yagami is everything wrong, changed to a bullied kid to feel politically relevant and correct. He's just eccentric, over the top, and a creepy looking mofo. Mia is supposed to be Misa? She is changed to a typical short girl cheerleader who follows Light around. Also, why would anyone name their kid Light in America is beyond me. This movie was rushed. From the start, we already see the book falling down. There is no build up to this or tension, it just falls and it's one of the cheapest looking movie production props I have ever seen. The design is something you'd see from a fanmade film. Then, the title sequence. They got the colors right at first, but then they went with complete blue, when it should be red and a bit of purple. All of the dialogue is awkward and choppy. Terrible line deliveries from each actor, just overcooked and several mumbling moments. The deaths were immoral, stupid, and just goes to Final Destination B-movie horror territory. The writers they hired wrote Immortal, a terrible movie with Henry Cavill. So, it was doomed to suck to begin with. They hired Adam Wingard too who directed the overrated The Guest. He's just bad, they should stop hiring him. His camera tricks are cheap, choppy, and horrible to look at. Blair Witch was unwatchable, this one is almost too. Ugliest looking cinematography of the year, muddy, unsmooth, bad shot composition, and student film level. The music choice is pop/techno like music and it is all wrong. Death Note was Gothic, operatic, and heavy metal. The only thing they got right was Ryuk's voice.

2/10.

3 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
A nearly unwatchable mess, 18 August 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This episode is just so cringy, derivative, and poorly done. The beginning fight scene was over stylized and unwatchable due to how many cuts the editor constantly made second after second. The narrative was as rushed as the typical introduction to the characters in Suicide Squad with weird music choices to unnatural dialogue. The part where I just decided to turn off the episode was when Rosario Dawson says "shall we get that coffee?" Cringe, then the sex scene rapidly edited with cheesy slow music, cringe even more. I am not even going to bother to watch the rest as I can already see this show being crap due to the producers being so clueless of what they're doing.

Detroit (2017)
20 out of 41 people found the following review useful:
Undermine White Power for thugs, 5 August 2017
1/10

This film is horrible. It tries to victimize thug African-Americans and portray the white police force as villains. These events never happened, it was the opposite. The blacks thugs fired a gun and threatened the cops and when the cops got there, they tried attacking them with a knife and the police shot at three of them. The rest were charged with attempted murder, drug trafficking, and prostitute trafficking. The way this film played out is that the white cops are racist murderers and liars and portray the blacks as innocent teens with no criminal records. This entire film is a lie, a liberal wet dream. Do not see this abomination. Oh yeah, Kathryn Bigheado, quit using shaky zoomeo.

0/10.

40 out of 87 people found the following review useful:
One of the worst action movies ever., 27 July 2017
1/10

This is period one of the worst action movies I've ever seen. It failed on every technical level. Shoddy fight choreography, horribly edited sequences, bad camera work, sound effects sucked, and repetitive. The amount of neon lights and unnecessarily dark blue cinematography was jarring to look at. Such ugly cinematography, some of the ugliest cinematography since the John Wick films. Apparently, Leitch hired Johnathan Sela again. Probably the crappiest cinematographer working in Hollywood today. The script is awful as same goes to the original source material. It's derivative, contrived, boring, and predictable. I cannot believe Fox would hired such a crappy director. John Wick 1 and 2 were already awful enough and they go and hire this guy. I don't understand. Now Johnathan Sela is the cinematographer for Deadpool 2. So, brace yourselves. Deadpool 2 will be a total piece of trash and will look like one as well. It's already looking like garbage with it's blue looking colors in that Deadpool 2 teaser before Logan. This guy has an obsession with blue and Deadpool is never meant to look blue. Such a bad cinematographer.

0/10.


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